In my life story, I recount my achievements in this life, and one or two failures. I've been blessed to have conquered almost every challenge sent my way. I never fought with myself over my being gay. I accepted it as a fact at a very early age, just as I accepted the fact that I have blue eyes. I never felt any shame, angst, or anger at my state in life. I have fought successfully against those who would use my being gay against me.
Most of my dreams have been met, including one of the most important: finding a man to love and live my life with as I did with Jack Bixler. We will celebrate 40 years together this March. But there is still one dream that has alluded me. I have failed twice to raise enough money to make a movie based upon one of my books, "The Beach House." It is only forty thousand dollars to make this dream come true, but it has been impossible to meet.
I have a director, a crew, and part of the cast chosen. Some are willing to work below their normal rates of pay to make this movie; a movie about a returning Marine from Afghanistan with PTSD. His life's happiness shattered by war, he seeks peace in a small beach town where he meets another man who has lost both his mother and lover in a car accident. Together, they find happiness and love once more. I have two dear friends who have and are serving currently in the military and both have severe PTSD. Both are gay. They are or were tasked with jobs that went far beyond what is asked of ordinary servicemen and women. They were handpicked for jobs that have left them damaged in many ways. The nation needs to be reminded that there are gay veterans and active duty personnel who are gay and have and are paying the price for serving.
I have tried Kickstarter and Indiegogo, but have failed at both. People who could help at least mount a decent campaign by making a two minutes intro for the campaign are too busy to do so. So many times in this life, I've gone far out of my way to help others, but I guess I have no right to expect the same from others. Forty thousand dollars to make a movie with gay characters that is worth seeing instead of some of the absolute trash that I have watched that passes for gay movie entertainment. It might as well be forty million dollars.
Both the Director and I firmly believe that the budget would be made back plus a profit for those who loaned us the money or donated the money for the movie. As for Hollywood, they run screaming into the night like scared little children when pitched a movie with all gay characters in spite of what happened with Brokeback Mountain, which made tens of millions beyond anyone's expectations. So, the Indie route is the only way to get this movie made, which excludes the major sources of funding for such an endeavor.
So, the question for myself is, will I ever make this movie? Will this be the one big dream that escapes me? I don't know how many years or even months I have left to live, I'm 61, but I shall continue to try and find the capital somewhere. I have enough faith in my eventual success that I'm auditioning a young actor from broadway, who is looking for his break into film. I like him. He's young, handsome, incredible body, and a nice young man. I wanna help him by giving him his first movie role. I will tape his audition on a gay cruise that is coming up But in order to do that, I have to succeed at raising the money. So I ask anyone reading this blog entry, if you know someone who ever wanted to be the Executive Producer of a movie, to contact me at email@example.com and talk to me. Hillary Clinton wrote a book called, "It takes a village to raise a child." It also takes a community to make a movie.